Please
“I’m scared.”
“C’mon. You can’t be scared your whole life.”
“I can. I mean, I have been up to now.”
Bianca’s eyes rolled as she shifted closer to my side, pressing her leg into mine. My breath caught in my throat, and Bianca frowned as I pulled my legs to my chest.
“Sadie, please. For me.”
“I can’t- I mean, my dad’ll actually kill me if he finds out.”
“Oh please!” Bianca laughed as she pulled herself up from the carpet of my living room and reached her hands out towards me. “You take everything so seriously. It’s just one bag, he’ll never even know.”
I pleaded with my mouth to form the word no, but looking up into her eyes, and taking her outstretched hands, I was hypnotized. I couldn’t say no. So I said yes.
Bianca pulled me into the kitchen and towards the cupboard she had peeked into so many times while my parents slept. I shook my head as she reached for the handle.
“I don’t understand why this is so important to you. We’ll be 21 in a few years anyway.”
“Hey,” she didn’t look at me as she grabbed the neck of a clear bottle, “I’m not going to college without getting drunk.” she closed the cupboard and glanced over her shoulder. “And neither are you.”
“Woah, B,” I stepped backwards, wincing as my hip collided with the corner of the countertop. “I already agreed to let you have the booze, I didn’t say I would drink any.”
“Don’t be stupid, Sadie, obviously you’re having some. Were you seriously planning on going to college as a sober little bitch?”
I chewed on my bottom lip. Bianca placed the bottle on the counter next to me and slid her hands into mine.
“Hey,” she smiled, and my face began to burn. “It’ll be fine. I really think you’ll like it.”
“I- you know what? Fine. I’ll have one drink.”
“Thank you!” she squealed, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. Her scent lingered in my nose as she pulled away and moved towards the fridge.
“Come on, you take the bottle and I’ll grab a mixer.”
I tried to smile as she led me up the stairs, pressing the lock on my bedroom door behind her.
------
“Hey, are you home?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’m at your front door.”
I shot up from the couch, hanging up my phone as I made my way to the door. Throwing it open, I found Bianca smiling, a case of beer in each hand.
“Look what I got!”
“Hey, woah, Bianca!” I pulled her into the house, checking the road for any of my desperately nosy neighbors. As I closed the door, I heard her setting bottles out in the kitchen.
“What are you doing? I thought you already went to, like, 4 house parties this week. Don’t you want to give your liver a break?”
She chuckled, holding a bottle out in my direction.
“Please, we’re in the prime of our lives!”
I pushed her hand away.
“I’m serious, B. Can’t we just hang out? Like we used to?”
“Oh my god, Sadie, you are so stuck up.”
“I am not stuck up! I just wish we didn’t always have to-”
“To have fun?”
Her shoulder slammed into mine as she walked past me and reached for the bottle opener.
“Stop! Can’t we watch a movie or something? I can make popcorn.”
We made silent, painful eye contact for a few moments. Then, Bianca began gathering her bags.
“Where are you going? You don’t have to leave.”
She took a swig from her beer as she made her way towards my front door.
“Call me when you’re ready to stop being such a fucking pussy, Sadie.”
Without another word, she pulled the door shut behind her.
…….
“Hello?”
“Sadie?”
“Bianca? What’s wrong?”
“Can you please come get me?”
“It’s 3am, B.”
She let out a sob into the phone. I rubbed my eyes.
“Ok, where are you?”
A few minutes later, I pulled into a stranger's driveway, and Bianca stumbled from the front door. I got out and helped her buckle into the passenger seat. I didn’t speak until we were out of the neighborhood.
“What happened?”
Bianca laughed, but it sounded gravelly and tired.
“I don’t really know. I don’t even know how I ended up there. But I knew you’d come get me.”
I swallowed the sandpaper feeling in my mouth as she pulled a bottle out of her purse and put it to her lips.
“Hey, stop that! You’ve had enough, B.”
“Shut up, princess. You don’t know anything”
I snatched the bottle from her hand, and she let out a yelp as I poured it out the window.
“I can’t let you keep doing this to yourself. Or to me. This has to stop.”
“Shut the hell up.” She wasn’t yelling, but there was nothing but hate in her eyes, and I couldn’t keep the tears from mine.
“Bianca, I don’t get it. What happened? I thought-”
“What? What the hell did you think, Sadie? Did you think that I cared? Did you think I loved you? Fuck off, Sadie. Look at yourself. You’re scared of your fucking shadow. I never even liked you.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” I whispered, not bothering to wipe the tears from my face. She laughed.
“Whatever you wanna tell yourself. You were just entertaining enough to pass the time. Now we can go off to college, and I can live my life, and you can go find some other idiot to follow around like a fucking dog.”
I pulled the car in front of her house, and she struggled to open the door. I walked around the side of the car just as she threw the door open and pushed past me.
My hand grabbed her wrist desperately, and she turned to look at me.
“Please… don’t leave. Please.”
Her eyes met mine.
“Don’t fucking touch me.”
I let her wrist drop, and she walked into her house without looking back. The stars shone on the wet pavement, and I watched the beer-soaked street drip into the gutter.
